Jess & Stef: two girls on a mission to understand The Secret

1. My amazing apartment, in a wonderfully historic part of town.

2. My lovely new flatmates who (even though we’ve only just met) I think were each brought into my life for a reason!

3. My boyfriend who is happy for me to pursue my dreams and explore new things

4. My healthy body, which is currently SCREAMING for me to treat it a bit better and stop drinking this good, cheap czech beer

5. New friends I’m meeting along my travels!

Jess x

I’m in Salzburg as I write this. I’m waiting for the train to Berlin and I’m looking at one great almighty view. Just like the tiny airport here, everything seems to come with a serving of alps-on-the-side. It’s cold, but who cares when the consequence of cold means pretty vistas of snow capped mountains?

In other news, I’m engaged! I was spoilt enough by my good man to have 2 proposals; one was spontaneous in NYC, down by the Brooklyn Bridge. The other was closer to home and one he had ‘prepared earlier’. The NYC proposal took Andy by surprise almost as much as it did me!

Proposal #1 was fabulous because he truly caught me off guard. We had spied a beautiful necklace in a designer jewellers and (because I didn’t want an engagement ring) Andy knew the necklace would be perfect for a proposal. It has black diamonds scattered around a golden disc, and it matches a necklace I wear in honour of my mother and gradmother. It was perfect! On our last day in the city we walked to Brooklyn bridge and after some typically ‘jess’ demands (eg. I’m starving; I need the bathroom, hurry up, etc) he finally managed to pin me down in a park overlooking the bridge. He asked me what I remembered him saying the weekend we first met and I stumbled… I could sense something big was happening and my brain went blank! Eventually I remembered. The weekend we first met, at a football tournament in shrewbury, we were kicking a football around and having polite conversation. Andy casually remarked “you’re exactly the sort of girl I could marry”.

I repeated his words back to him and he told me nothing had changed since that first weekend. He told me he loved me, pulled out the gorgeous necklace and asked me to be his wife. I said, “of course!”

The proposal was lovely, marred only by a seriously vexing new breed of animal, the pig-squirral. One such pig-squirral was proving very obstructive to Andy’s proposal intentions because it kept distracting me with it’s evil black eyes and pig-like snout. How odd!

Oh, and for a while I refused to put down the pretzels I was munching, but I will defend myself on this account… I don’t give up food easily and I didn’t know he was going to propose!!!

Proposal #2: the ‘original’ proposal idea. Before Andy and I went to New York, he had planned to surprise me with a proposal at a very dear, very special spot for us both. Abbey Road, London. When we were first dating we spent loads of time in the area, and it always reminds me of our young-love, hand-in-hand romantic strolls. Later, we came to live on the famous street and crossed the ‘beatles crossing’ virtually every weekend on our runs. We celebrated our 4yr anniversary at a restaurant on the street, and casually joked that we were stalking the Beatles, having already been to Liverpool’s Mathew st festival, Abbey rd studios, and ultimately Strawberry Fields in NYC.

For those who don’t know, Abbey rd is notorious for it’s graffiti. Tourists from around the globe pay tribute to the Beatles and scribble lyrics and messages of thanks and respect, and every month the Walls of Abbey rd studios need to be White washed to remove the graffiti. So it was a lovely, sweet, wonderful moment when Andy scribbled “Jess, marry me?” on the newly whitewashed walls of the famous Abbey rd studios. It was super touching because of this place’s significance to us….

All in all I’m super spoiled. I have 2 stories to tell the grandkids!

And speaking of super spoiled, I’m going to stop typing, put down my iPhone and enjoy this view before my train to Berlin chuggs into the platform!!

Funny, ain’t it, how we always seem to be counting down to something?

A quick scan of Facebook profiles will show you… ’3 more sleeps…”just a few more weeks and then….’ ’120 days until…’

Until what?

Why do we always believe that the future is going to make us so much happier?

I’ve started my own countdown, and it finishes today. I’m leaving my job and about to start out on my travelling adventures. Almost a solid year away before having to work again!

Oh, I can’t tell you how much the thought of finishing a job would normally flood me with relief. Travel has always been more of an escape for me than an adventure (although, I have, of course, had many an adventure in my time!)

But this time it’s different. This time, my countdown is hollow. I’m leaving a job I enjoy, I’m leaving a boyfriend I love, and I am leaving my beautiful city. I’m excited about going away but for the first time in my life, I am happy in myself, in the here and now, and I’m not relying on the future to fix things.

Guess all these affirmations are really starting to change things for me. What a year!

Jess x

A penalty for £75 just arrived from my bank, HSBC.

What did I to warrant such punishment from my bank? Accidentally going over my overdraft. Geez Louise – for £75 I could get a brand new pair of ROCKING boots. We’re talking SEVENTY-FIVE QUID here!!!

My first reaction to the bill was anger. I mean, what do they think they are doing that is so challenging it is costing me £75 worth of admin fees? That’s a pretty good hourly rate for some office worker over in the East End… I suppose, what with HSBC being a gloabl bank and all, with all that “International Know-How“ they wax lyrical about, that I am probably paying for the admin services of a person out in Antarctica to process my overdraft… including all the heating required to keep this person comfortable while they completed the task!  The fee is positively outrageous, right!?And I was therefore predictably outraged.

I have been doing self-help long enough now (10 whole months!) to realise that feeling angry was only going to bring more negativity into my life later on down the road. What would The Secret have us believe about these penalty notices? That we should find the good in everything and CHOOSE to be happy with what the universe brings to us, that’s what!

So, without a sarcastic bone in my body, let me focus on the positives in this situation.

1) Our money, (by and large….) is safe and secure in the hands of banks and these penalties are necessary to ensure that they remain operational… on the whole, banks are good for us!

2) This notice has proven educational for me. I wasn’t aware of the high fee, now I am, and I will never be overdrawn again

3) I am going to use this as an opportunity to test some of the advice from Money Saving Expert about reclaiming overdraft fees: http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/bank-charges - if it doesn’t work, fine, but it is another lesson for me! What a fantastic resource, by the by, this moneysavingexpert.com

So THANK YOU for this penalty. And THANK YOU Jessica for catching your angry mood and realising that THIS SHALL PASS. I will move on, I will live, love and be better for this. I will do what I can to reverse it, but I do not resent it for coming into my life. Resentment will get me nowhere. And I forgive myself for making a mistake and getting into this situation in the first place…. heck, everyone does it at some point, right?

How’s that for positive thinking??

Jess x

Affirmations:

Money comes to me easily and effortlessly
I am a money magnet and it is drawn to me
I am comfortable and content financially
All is well in my world

I’ve had lots of fun catching up with old friends recently. I’m finally growing up enough to realise that there’s no sense in comparing myself to my mates; our lives have taken us in different directions and each chosen path is pretty wonderful. This marked change in my competitive instinct has meant that I am able to truly revel in the JOY of catching up with old friends.

5 reasons why you should look up your golden oldie mates….

1. Two minds recall more memories than one mind alone.
Adrian – a Qantas pilot who I used to work with at Hoyts cinema when we were 16 – reminded me of a work Christmas party we had on the North Shore which I had completely forgotten about. The illicit booze, the flirting with colleagues, the lack of hangover courtesy of our youth….

2. You have a base by which to measure how far you have come in life
Sometimes, with the passing of time, you forget just where you started from. I was lucky enough to go to the brilliant highschool, Monte Sant’ Angleo Mercy College in North Sydney which was just about as fabulous as high schools can get. In my mind, I’m still a new graduate, but in reality (thanks to seeing Alexis recently, who is now all  ’grown up’ and super successful) I realise that I too have evolved a heck of a lot in the  last 10 years.

3. You can laugh like a kid again
When one of my oldest friends invited me around to make coconut & lime cupcakes this past weekend, we were like … well, like kids in a cupcake shop! It was QUALITY, money-can’t-buy entertainment as I watched my girlfriend Kristy make her first ever batch of cupcakes. Well done KD. Round of applause.

4. You discover there’s a safety net beneath you that you’d somehow forgotten about.
I know when I take a virtual stroll through my list of facebook friends that there are people I haven’t seen or spoken to in near on a LIFETIME, but I can pick up the phone in a ‘down’ moment and have a willing, loving, and supportive ear on the other line. Nice!

5. You know that no matter the distance between you, no matter the years behind you, your old friends are truly friends for life.
I’ve been away from Sydney for a bloody long time. By the time I go ‘home’ it will have been nearly 7.5years abroad. I have met people travelling who have gone back to their home countries and I haven’t seen in an eternity; I have met people in jobs who have touched my spirit and taught me new things, but i have lost touch with when I move onto new contracts. But whether I ever see these people again or not, they aer with me for LIFE because they exist within me. In the memories I store of them.

Affirmations:
I openly voice my love and gratitude for all my friends
I welcome new lifelong friendships into my life
I am thankful for the joy and happiness I experience when with my friends

Jess x

Most self-help gurus will advise that a good old emptying out of the wardrobe is as cleansing for your soul as it is for the state of your bedroom. I would usually agree.

Unfortunately for me, my cupboard detox has occurred due to necessity rather than choice. We moved house last weekend (which kind of justifies my lack of entries over the previous few weeks), and we downsized quite considerably. We had to hack away at the thick bush of our closet. I waved goodbye to clothes I was gifted from family on trips back to Oz which I have never worn; I farewelled those necklaces I’d rescued from the black bin-bags destined for charity shops at my friends’ houses. I forced Andy to throw away any clothes that had holes in them, no matter their sentimental value.

All this cleansing did little to help lighten my spirit though. Quite simply put, the stress involved with having to somehow quarter my worldy possessions outweighed any sense of achievement.

At the end of our mammouth declutter, we were still left with over 20 boxes, 3 big traveller’s backpacks, and dozens of books we could-not-live-without. All this ‘stuff’, and no car to transport it in, led to one heck of a long day moving house. We moved 2 streets away and naively believed we would be able to cope without the assitance of a hire car. If it wasn’t for the generous assistance of our new flatmate, we’d have not finished until well into the evening hours! Our new flat is lovely and homely and cute, but the room is much smaller than we had become accustomed to  in the colossally large Abbey Road pad. I couldn’t help but stifle a sob when I realised that my new cupboard would only hold 2 of my jackets, 3 dresses and a few special tops. How on earth would I make a life in this place?

What I somehow managed to ignore during this crazy period of self-pity was that this new wardrobe was actually a 6″ x 2″ white wooden blessing. It was because of this wardrobe that I am able to fund a year of adventure! The cosy winter months of Andy and I living on top of each other will give us FREEDOM when we spend months exploring in the big wide world. And it really ain’t all that bad. I have great company in my new flat (genuinely lucked out with great flatmates); the house is stunning – kind of looks like the stoic New York brownstones; and we are in one of the most beautiful streets in West Hampstead.

I need to GET OVER myself and realise how lucky I am in life and stop.bloody.whinging.

Affirmations:
All is well in my world.
The universe opens doors for me, and wonderful friends and experiences flow into my life.
I welcome change and enjoy new, positive things in my life.

Yesterday we were doing a shoot for work, it included 9 of the top milliners based in Melbourne. The shoot took place outside on a staircase. It was about 11am and the sun was streaming all over, everyone had sunglasses on and the sky was an intoxicating blue. Not one cloud in sight.

It was so nice and warm, and when I looked at the trees I noticed that they were full of spring green leaves ready to sprout. I love this time of year when everything changes and you start feel the warmth in the air and you can even smell it as flowers begin to bloom.

WORK has been fantastic. Not only do I love what I am doing but I am getting real satisfaction from it. We are so much busy than we anticipated, I can’t wait till the business grows and the day comes when I can leave the shop and just manage the business!!!

Last week we did a shoot for a TV commercial for the beef industry. It was a big job, we had to style 100 people that appear in the ad, of that, 20 people were feature talent. That went over 2 days. Then we did another shoot on the Friday, still for beef. So great to be working in this capacity, but not as an account manager for an agency!

I was STUFFED on Friday night. Seriously I can’t remember being that tired, especially when it has not been self inflicted (with a bottle of vodka and perhaps some disco biscuits). Our longest day involved getting up at 4.30AM and working right through till 10PM. On Friday night all I could manage was a very large cocktail and bed.

So all good things happening with work, but as Jess pointed out between working, gym & general maintenance like eating, sleeping, showering etc I have found it hard to keep up with the affirmations. On Friday night, at the peak of my exhaustion I realised that being in that sleep deprived place led to one thing….binging on food, being upset and finally sleep…I woke up and found strawberries & cream in my bed!!!! It was a new low to find out I am now sleeping with food.

Why is it that even so work life is going well I still find something to pick at? I think humans are predisposed to focusing on the crap! My crap being that old chestnut – the single gal’s life! I had two friends get engaged over the weekend. I am so happy for them and then I think F%CK I don’t even have a boyfriend!! All my single girlfriends are the same. We cover the same ground when we catch up. Everyone has a story and everyone has heartache. It’s the god damn crisis of this century.

It can be disheartening when you are always buying presents to celebrate the joy of someone’s coupled life. The single people don’t get that much to celebrate, just the usual birthday, Easter etc that is why we all go out drinking, and partying. No fun sitting at home watching bad TV on a Friday night.

The support and love that comes from a partner you can’t get from a cat and friends are so important but you can’t really have the same intimacy – or you could but then that’s friends with benefits.

I have one of those at the moment, but even that is lame. It doesn’t seem like I get to cash in on the ‘benefit’ as much as I had first hoped. To top that off the actual benefit isn’t even that great.

There is only one thing for it though – back onto affirmations! I am currently devising a plan to bring energy back into my life. Eat well, getting good sleep and taking time out to relax! I also plan to go out for drinks and not get trashed… my first attempt at this reformed self will be this Saturday. I affirm it here and now that I will not get trashed and that I will have a fabulous time catching up with friends and flirting with men over 30 (who are single)!!! (it’s Australia after all and most of them are married, kids or at the very least long term relationship)

Looking forward to spring and all the goodness it brings, my first full Australian summer in a decade. Working in a place I love. Now all I need is the cherry on top of this romance, a summer time fling. Wish me luck!

Stef

Taking time to nurture a relationship with yourself can seem like too much bloody hard work. You’ve got your day job; you have your boyfriend, girlfriends, husband, kids….; you have to do the shopping and get your bikini waxed. You’ve got a whole week’s worth of ironing backed up. Where can you find the time to meditate, affirmate, or creatively visualise?

I’ve been struggling, in truth. If it wasn’t for this blog I would likely be out boozing on a regular basis, bitching about my life, and believing it was everyone else’s fault but my own. Luckily, having to keep a journal of my journey of self discovery is keeping my eyes on the prize.

Yesterday morning I started Reading Louise Hay again. I keep going back to her- she is the master of the basics and it’s like doing my ABCs in self help. I’ve gone back to the drawing board with her suggested ‘beginner’ affirmation – “I accept myself”. She suggests repeating this up to 400 times per day! Sheesh… boring, much?? Well, despite thinking I would give up at the first hurdle, I pushed myself hard.

Result?

I GENUINELY feel wonderful! I really haven’t felt this great in ages.

I’m still saying it today, over and over, because it’s given me such strong feel-good emotions. Yes siree, I sure do approve of myself! It was worth the hard yards in affirming….

I’m definitely going to devote some more precious time to this over the weekend, but my next lesson is Deepak Chopra’s “who are you?” class where I will hopefully strip back some ego layers to reveal some truth about my inner self.

Exciting times.

Jess

What a gorgeous Autumn day. Hello September! I must have been drugged by the sunshine because I stupidly walked all the way to the tube station, forgetting I was about to embark on a marathon walk from London – Watford, raising money for Macmillan Cancer Support. What a waste of precious, precious energy - I should have taken the bus!

 We met at Boots’ Oxford Street for our photo opp. Olympic swimmer Mark Foster was there (and he’s more than just a little bit handsome, let me tell you!) I got so excited I took my top off. Quite literally. He needed a Macmillans T-shirt because he didn’t have one for the photoshoot, and I was more than obliging.

Photoshoot done and dusted, we set off and our first destination (Shepard’s Bush White City) seemed too soon. 3miles in, 17 to go, and people were already starting to complain. Not me – fit as fiddle is little ol’ me. I threw back some water and munched on some trailmix, and impatiently waited for our pit stop to draw to a close so I could get moving again. It wasn’t until we were in the gritty high street of Harlsden that I noticed my feet were giving me a bit of trouble. Pesky blisters.

About 8 miles in we stopped for lunch. At McDonalds. I try to avoid Maccy D’s like the plague ever since I made my eternal vow to love, cherish and honour slimness. But sometimes, those golden arches act like magnets pulling me in. I did manage to avoid the group round of big mac meals and opt instead for a garden salad and chicken sandwich, but the brownie looked too good to be true….and i was walking over 20miles after all…. what was a measly little brownie gonna do?

About 2 more miles in and ANOTHER food break. This time, I was presented with more chocolate, sugar energy drinks, packets of crisps, and energy bars. Somewhere in between the 2 miles we’d walked from McDonalds to this 2nd pit stop, i’d forgotten about the brownie, and shoved in a packet of crisps, energy  bar and bottle of sickly sweet ”you’re gonna regret this” water. 

The next 10 miles I walked in food-shame……..

With only an hour’s walking left to do I finally had to own up to the shocking pain in my hips (HOW OLD AM I???) and the blisters which were the size of walnuts on the soles of my feet and ankles. I was turning into a whinging wreck, and completely got over the fact it was all for a good cause and just wanted to go home and sulk. I was acting like a 4 year old, throwing all my toys out of the pram!

I have learned a valuable lesson today. I’m a nightmare when I’m exhausted   But I’ve also learned that charity events are SUPPOSED to challenge you. Walking a marathon is no fudge-sundae treat…….. it is tough, and it is gruelling. But I compare these 22miles of endurance to the endurance my mother had when she was going through her treatment and there ain’t no comparison. I am under no illusions that walking a marathon makes me tough. Tough is what people living with cancer are. Tough is facing your fears, and lying in the dark not knowing what is coming to get you. Tough is waking up and getting on with living your life, even though you have this disease…. tough is learning to make each day count. It wasn’t the marathon that taught me this…. it was my own darling ma…

Miles for Macmillan is an 8 day walking challenge (of which I walked the first leg) which will cover the distance equal to a mile for every person diagnosed with cancer in the UK each year. One in 3 people will be directly affected by cancer at some point in their lives – so if you want to support a charity that is out there to improve the lives of those with cancer, and those who LOVE the people affected by cancer – then read more about Macmillan Cancer Support@  www.macmillan.org.uk

SPONSOR ME NOW AT :  www.justgiving.com/bootsmilesformacmillanhealthcare

Jess x

Affirmations:
I am generous with my time for the good of others
I work well in teams
My body heals quickly